1. Beaten up in an Oxford library. Grievous Bodleian harm.
2. Why is pop so repetitive? Tell me why. I don't like Mondays. Tell me why. I just told you. Tell me why. Come on.
3. My horse tells dirty jokes. He's a ribald pony.
4. Just bumped into Octopus at the casino. He's an invertebrate gambler.
5. Always thinking about a tiny army marching around in my head. Keeps my mind occupied.
6. I was hoping to get a few Buddhist Monks to perform at my wedding. Chants'd be a fine thing.
7. Overheard passing Ann Summers. No, Mr Harris, we don't do them in children's sizes.
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