Body Piercings

Shop sign made O chuckle...

Cast of Thousands: names in search of script

Cast for forthcoming radio productions

Jason and Grayson Bagpipes

Phineas (Lord) Wasp

Vortigen Goose

Grace Bits

Fog Chalice (Band)

Duplicitous Ninja (Band)

Crass Marraccas (Band)

Mike Trellis

Caroline Whinsome

Potsy Plankton and the Glib Disraelis

Clarkey Frascati and Pendulum Davis

Lord Concupiscence and his orchestra

Sandra Bonus

Panties McNulty

Pakistani Dave

Bronwyn Trollope

Khaksmith and the Level Bests

Mr (Pennistone) and Mrs (Gladwys) Quo Vadis

Arthur and Barry Pans

Fisherman’s Relish (Band)

Recent twits...

Newsflash: community service for Man charged with licking Terence Stamp...

Corsodyl: for people who spit blood, when they brush their teeth. Wonder if they advertise weapons (tampons, condoms)...

Misreading History: 1. the Vikings. Best known for rope and pilchards...

I could make a fortune as a blood donor: I'm Croesus Negative...

Sports Personality of the Year; Cuban Entrepreneur of the Year; BNP Multiculturalist of the Year; Sexiest Spoon; Fastest Plant; Laziest Bee...

Ellen Page channels Mary Pickford and Marc Bolan

Overheard in a dream

Overheard in a dream. These are creatures made entirely of spoons. We must chain onions to them, and make them sing.

Some Jokes

1. Beaten up in an Oxford library. Grievous Bodleian harm.
2. Why is pop so repetitive? Tell me why. I don't like Mondays. Tell me why. I just told you. Tell me why. Come on.
3. My horse tells dirty jokes. He's a ribald pony.
4. Just bumped into Octopus at the casino. He's an invertebrate gambler.
5. Always thinking about a tiny army marching around in my head. Keeps my mind occupied.
6. I was hoping to get a few Buddhist Monks to perform at my wedding. Chants'd be a fine thing.
7. Overheard passing Ann Summers. No, Mr Harris, we don't do them in children's sizes.