sports for dummies and other poems

                                                         Sports for Dummies

 

Tell us how you broke the world high jump record

 

 

So, Graham - 

If you would -

In your own words –

Tell us how you broke the world high jump record.

 

Well – I – erm –

Ran as fast as I could -

 

Yes?

 

Towards the bar -

 

Yes?

 

And – when I was almost up to it -

About a step from it -

 

Yes?

 

I jumped up

As high as I could.

 

Thanks Graham -

That was great.

 

                                                             

                           

                                 For the Incompetents

 

 

Ginsberg good looks no longer de rigueur

 

 

We are the incompetents:

Plimsolls sadly spare;

Grisly in granny-spun hair;

Ginsberg good looks

No longer de rigueur.

 

We who saw her standing there:

Discarded among coffee cups;

Lounging in corduroy;

Forlorn butt-ends of former days,

Making a spectacle of ourselves.

 

Timothy Leary’s dead-beats.

 

Imagine us

Without our ono specs:

Moles emerging from four thousand holes.

 

Our furrowed faces for you to slap;

Nicotine knuckles for you to rap.

 

Give your dog a boney-moroney Tony,

To keep your cupboard from being bare.

 

Spare a penny for an old guy.